Unemployment Chronicles, Day 69: Low-Iodine Diet

Otherwise known as the no-fun diet, the no-salt diet, the I'm-always-hungry diet, and the I-can't-believe-how-much-weight-I'm-losing diet.

It actually doesn't have to be no-salt, but you can't use iodized salt or sea salt.  Rather than buy non-iodized salt, or try to figure out if processed foods have iodine in them, I just avoid salt.  (I did this before twice.)

The reason for the diet is to starve my body for iodine, so that when they give me a radioactive (small dose) iodine pill, my body sucks up the iodine.  Then they scan with a machine that picks up the radiation.

Here is what you can't have on the no-fun diet, at least as I practice it:

• Salt
• Grain products
• Eggs
• Dairy
• Fish or anything from the sea
• Restaurant food
• Potato skins
• Most beans, particularly soybean products
• You can have meat or chicken, but just a few ounces, without salt
• Rhubarb or maraschino cherries
• Chocolate (!)

Actually, I don't mind giving up rhubarb for a couple of weeks.  Here is what I do eat:

• Coke with sugar.  I need calories on this diet.
• Potatoes without the skins, with oil and no-salt seasoning
• One chicken thigh per day
• Fruit
• Vegetables, including salad with oil and vinegar.  Not a salad dressing, just oil and vinegar.
• Unflavored oatmeal.  A welcome exception to avoiding grains, because the unflavored stuff only contains oats.
• Unsalted nuts or peanut butter

Today I have had four Cokes (need to stop that), oatmeal with raisins twice, apple juice with strawberries and bananas blended in, an avocado and some tomatoes with oil and vinegar, my one piece of chicken, watermelon, and some natural and unsalted peanut butter.  Everything but the chicken feels so insubstantial that I want to eat again soon after I eat, but the choices keep me from eating very much, so I stay hungry.

Last time I did this, I lost 15 pounds in three weeks.  Some things that taste OK the first day get to be distasteful after a couple of weeks, so it gets harder as time goes on.

Observations so far:

• Chicken tastes great almost no matter what.  I love chicken.
• "Natural" peanut butter pretty much glues your mouth shut.
• Before I had the chicken, oatmeal with blackberry jam and raisins was the high point of my culinary day.  It's easy to fix and tastes fine.  I wonder if I wll still think that in two weeks.
• Oil and vinegar tastes like vinegar.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

One more thing.  I have to follow this diet while I'm travelling to Boston for four days.  That should be a challenge.

Unemployment Chronicles, Day 68: A Busy June

I have several events scheduled for June that will make it a bad time to start a new job.  I suppose that, ideally, I could find something starting July 2, so that I won't have to take time off right after I start working.

This is what I have in June, so far:

• My annual physical
• A dental appointment
• A trip to Boston for an archery tournament
• My neice's wedding in California
• Thyroid cancer follow-up testing.  This means two weeks on a low-iodine diet, followed by a week that features two injections, a radioactive pill (small dose), a full-body scan, and a blood draw, with appointments Monday, Tuesday, Wedenesday and Friday the week of June 11.

I had a golf tournament to attend also, but it conflicted with the Boston trip, so I had to cancel it.

So not the best month to jump into something.  I won't get anything permanent before July anyway, but it would be best if nothing temporary pops up at the wrong time.  It is difficult to schedule personal commitments, not knowing when a job opportunity may appear.

Unemployment Chronicles, Day 63: Corporations Are People

Crazy people.

I have held off writing this post for various reasons, but I'm writing it now.  It certainly would not have been a good idea to let off too much steam right after I left Farmers, but now that I have some distance, I have a few things about the way some companies (not necessarily Farmers, of course) treat people, and perhaps I can make some points without sounding too angry and irrational.

So here are a few of the crazy things corporation-people do.

Annual goals.  At least in accounting, almost everyone involved in this process understands that something is very wrong with making annual goals.  The most obvious thing is that the work you do in any given year is not what you anticipated it would be at the beginning of the year.  Priorities and assignments change, projects come and go.  Much of what you do all year is in reaction to unanticipated events.  In addition, goals are meant to be specific and measurable, but much of what we do is not measurable, so the evaluation of our results is highly subjective, and we all know it.  Yet companies persist in not only creating annual goals, but in tying those goals to mathematical formulas to determine how employees performed each year.  We all know it's crap.

In fact, the main purpose of this type of annual goal-setting is to install a façade of objectivity over a subjective process, so that the company can claim that they treated everyone fairly.

Compensation.  And speaking of those fine annual goals, what are we hoping to accomplish this year?  Well, the way it was explained to me in a class, we are looking to make significant improvements over the work we did last year.  Last year is, in fact, a baseline, and you need to build on that.

So you need to produce more; that is the expectation.  And if you do produce more, what can you expect in your paycheck?  Experience tells me that meeting the increased expectations will allow you to keep up with inflation, no more.  Unless you are at the bottom of the pay scale, you don't get to have any of that improved productivity for yourself; the company gets it all.  Then they ask you to improve again next year, because this year is a baseline.

Engagement.  Oh boy, this is my favorite.  They want you to be engaged in your work.  You should be excited about what you are doing, and the company's mission, and the latest company program to make everything great.  If you have the brains to question the latest bright idea, you are trouble.  Don't do that.  Even if they cancel the latest thing and start another, the people who championed the old, now-recognized-as-stupid idea, and now champion the new one (and you know they are the same people), will be seen as positive, engaged types, and you will be seen as a malcontent.  No one cares that you were right and they were wrong.

I could give a seminar on engagement, although no one would come, but it's simple.  People want their work to be interesting and to matter, and they want to be paid.  Very little else.  A list of what keeps people engaged:

• Interesting work
• Work that is suited to their skills
• Working on something new
• Learning new skills
• Work that can help them advance
• Recognition.  Plaques and certificates are nice.  Raises and bonuses are better.

Some things that probably won't work:

• Corporate thank-you programs
• Potlucks
• Telling them that last year is a baseline
• Annual goals
• Telling them to be more engaged

Most important, companies have to realize that if employees are not engaged, it's because of the company.  Most people come to a job with high hopes and a good attitude, and a lot of them have that sucked out of them after a few years of reality.  Don't blame the employees.

The company's goal is to get everything they can out of you, while giving you as little as possible.  That's their goal.  And you should be excited about working for them?  The attitude most corporation-people take toward their employees is strictly business.  But then they want you to care.  Yuck.

I have worked for many large corporations.  Not one of them was engaged in me.

Unemployment Chronicles, Day 58: Same As It Ever Was

I have been neglecting my blog a bit -- it has been six days since I posted anything.  I have a reason for this:  The days are starting to seem very much alike, so I have little new to report.  I have contacted some people, submitted my resume, but I am not hearing much back, so the act of reaching out to companies isn't much of an event.  It gives me something to do, but it's not anything to write home about, so to speak.

I have several sources to look at for jobs now -- Indeed.com, SimplyHired.com, Craiglist, LinkedIn, the Washington State CPA website, things friends send me, Monster.com.  Any given website doesn't change much from day to day, so once I have gone through all of them, it doesn't take long to look for updates.  From there, I can look at more sites, like recriuter sites, then start searching individual companies.  I think it's a useful process, but it just isn't very interesting unless they call me back, which they are not right now.

A couple of issues I am dealing with.  I have been telling people so far that I left work to look for new opportunities, which is quite true, but they seem surprised that I would quit without another job in this economy.  Not surprisingly, I am leaving out the part about how frustrated I was.  I think I will have to expand a little bit on my story, just to add that I tried for two years to get something internally before I gave up.

Second, there is the question of management.  I would really prefer not to do it, but non-management jobs typically pay maybe $45K less than I was making at Farmers (although at Farmers it was more like a $20K difference.)  Also, the feedback from one senior accountant position I applied for was that I was over-qualified.  So management is starting to look more attractive, as long as it's not the job I used to do.

At least five recruiters have my information now, and a few companies.  I'm just going to keep expanding on that start, hoping that the longer the list, the more likely someone will respond.

Unemployment Chronicles, Day 52: A New Hope

My friend John gave my number to a recruiter, and she gave me a call.  We met yesterday, and she said that she would talk to her client about me.  The client is an insurance company, so my background will help.  You never know, but as opportunities go, this one has a decent chance of success.

Things I have been doing while unemployed that I did not do before, besides looking for a job:

• Watching three TV series that my brother recommended:  Game of Thrones, Band of Brothers, and Firefly.  All are very good.
• Reading Games of Thrones.  Jackie watched (only) that one with me, then went and bought the books.
• Running the kids around.  Lucas has class 5 days a week and archery 3 days, although he drives himself some.  Jarrod has Boy Scouts Mondays as well as weekend activities.  Jackie does a lot of the driving, but she used to do almost all of it.
• Jackie and I are still working out most mornings.  I have worked up to 3 resistance and 3 incline on the elliptical machine.  Hopefully you have never been on an elliptical machine and imagine that those settings might be impressive.
• Hanging out at Arby's.

Jarrod is on a Boy Scout outing this weekend, Sunday is Mother's Day, and tomorrow Jackie and I are going to see a movie -- Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, with a lot of great older British actors.

Unemployment Chronicles, Day 48: Grinding It Out

I have to say that looking for a picture of a grinding wheel brought back some memories.

I sent a resume to a former coworker at TMobile today, with an actual job in mind.  Having someone on the inside helps, so I am hopeful about this one, but it's still a long shot.


From here on, I am going to try to apply to at least one job every day; we'll see how easy it is to find one each day.  For the moment, I have a head start, as I have a couple of ideas in the queue.

This process is a little like selling encyclopedias door to door.  Most of your time is wasted, but if you get one or two hits, it might be all you need.

The recruiters have been very, very quiet.  I'll send emails to remind them that I'm still alive, but so far they are not bursting with ideas.  A friend gave me one more recruiter name, and I'll try them, but the thing about recruiters is, you can't tell whether they are trying to help, or if they just aren't interested.  They don't send a letter saying no thanks; you just never hear from them.

I have updated my LinkedIn profile numerous times, and I have showed up in some searches, but the number of people who have viewed my profile, other than my own contacts, is tiny.  That doesn't seem to be the magic bullet.

Well, crappy economy, there probably isn't a magic bullet.  At least this way, I will feel like I'm doing all I can.

It's too quiet though.  Two little nibbles in a month.  It's not enough to ever get a job.

Unemployment Chronicles, Day 44: Eggs and Baskets

I mentioned before that I like to put all my eggs in one basket.  This is mostly because I am lazy and don't like to work on things that don't have a high probability of helping, but on many occasions, the approach has served me well.

I only applied to one college when I graduated from high school:  UC Berkeley.  It's not trivial to get into Berkeley, and I had bad high school grades, but I only applied to Berkeley, and I got in.  When I got out of public accounting, I applied to one company and took the job.  When I moved to Washington, I did the same thing, and again for the job after that.

But sometimes Plan A hasn't panned out, and I didn't have anything to fall back on.  When I moved to Texas in 1982, left my dad's company in 1985, left KPMG in 1989.  On those occasions, I had to scramble to come up with a backup plan, and it made my life difficult for awhile each time.

At Farmers, I had a Plan A.  It was a beautiful plan.  I had a specific role in mind, one that I could have done really well, one that my superiors acknowledged I could do really well.  But it didn't happen, and I held on way too long thinking that because it was best for both sides, it would happen in the end.  When I couldn't make it work, I really wasn't prepared for this situation.

Now that I have had some tiem to think, I have a different Plan A, which is contracting; however, I'm having to work on a fallback position, because nothing is happening in the contracting world yet, and it may not ever.  The next idea is to look at manufacturing companies in this area and see if I can either get in touch by networking or find an open position.  This option is a lot of work, and it's not really what I want, but it may be all that's available.

So this kind of search involves creating a list of local companies, doing some research on them, determining which ones sound like viable options for me, then finding out if anyone I know, or anyone who knows someone I know, works there, then trying to make contact.  Also check their websites for job opportunities.  It's the type of work that mostly won't pay off, but you only need one success.

One thing I wonder:  The Way to get a job is to pick a company you want to work for, then talk to hiring managers at that company about your qualifications.  If this is The Way, why is it that in 6 years as a hiring manager at Farmers, I was never approached in this manner?  Something seems off.

On the other hand, I worked for an insurance company.  Maybe it's as simple as that.

Unemployment Chronicles, Day 42: Support Group

I'm composing this in Arby's again.  Got the curly fries this time and waited in the front so there wouldn't be any more mozzarella stick unpleasantness.

A popular music station is playing a popular older tune with this lyric:

"Don't wanna close my eyes,
Don't wanna fall asleep,
Cause I miss you girl,
and I don't wanna miss a thing."

And I find myself thinking, as I often do -- why did anyone think that was OK?  If I were a songwriter, and I came up with that lyric, I would have immediately rejected it without any serious consideration.  If I want anyone to listen to my song, I'm going to have to do waaay better than that.  Extrapolating this line of thought, if I were Rod Stewart, I never would have tried the music business at all.

And yet I'm wrong, of course.  Somewhere, someone listened to that song and realized it could be a hit, and it was.  Someone else guessed that Rod Stewart could be a star.  I have nothing but respect for people who can make those kinds of judgments.  The process baffles me.

I went to Monday job search support group for the third time yesterday.  We meet every week for two hours and each talk about what we did for the last week, and what we are planning to do.  There is some benefit to having each other as a network, and people have suggestions for each other, but I suppose it's also a chance for our coach to touch base with us regularly.

The members of the group are pretty accomplished.  I expect that you have to have a little success in the world before you get the kind of outplacement services I have.  The group changes every week, but there are always about six of us, including a couple of Microsoft people, an airline executive, an investment manager, and a guy I know from Farmers.  He and I tend to talk to each other and swap stories about how things work at Farmers, especially since he would like to get back in.

I am actually pretty representative of the group.  One Microsoft person is maybe thirty, but the rest average close to my age.  Except for the airline guy, who was a high-level executive, their accomplishments are probably similar to mine.  Several of them want to do something new, despite previous success in their field.  They all seem very employable to me.

What I am curious to see is how often someone leaves the group to take a job.  So far, no one in three weeks, and I think most of them have been unemployed for two to three months or more.  I'm betting on younger Microsoft person to be first, as she seems to be doing all the right things.  She can rattle off a dozen companies she has contacted and how she is trying to network her way into each of them.

Including driving time, that is what I do with about three hours of my Mondays.  I'm not convinced it will help me get a job, but it isn't taking away from anything better, so why not?  In any case, it's good to have outside contact.