Pushing My Luck

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.  ~Doug Larson

This post is another in a series of posts about my life so far.  When I wrote the original post on May 24, I wrote that I would create a series of posts over the next week or two.  This is actually only the second of nine subjects I want to address; I guess there are too many other things to do.

Anyway, for topic number two I am jumping down the list to discuss health.  The reason for this is that health is one area where I do very poorly, and I hope this will help keep my reflections on my life from sounding like a series of pats on my own back.

In some sense, I have lived a fairly healthy life.  I had a major infection that landed me in the hospital for a week when I was 34, but I fully recovered.  I had thyroid cancer a couple of years ago, but although that involved some surgery and un-fun treatment, it is not much of a threat to my health long-term.  I have slightly high blood pressure.  I have used a CPAP machine for 15 years now.  Still, I am in reasonably good health, with no chronic issues to concern me for now.

The problem is that I am at great risk if I don't lose weight and get in better shape.  I am more or less 100 pounds overweight, and I hardly exercise or do anything active at all.  It is fortunate that I don't already have diabetes, as I have a family history.  I am also a great candidate for a heart attack someday, and there are a number of other potential problems with obesity.

Being in really bad shape impacts your life in other ways too.  I haven't taken part in sports of any kind in years.  I can't accompany my kids on most scouting activities, because they are too strenuous for me.  My ability to go on hikes in all the mountains I live near, or just to go for a bike ride, is limited.

So I know that I need to exercise more and to lose weight, but I never do.  I have been lucky so far, but if I'm evaluating my accomplishments, this is not an area I'm proud of.

Wasting Time

My carpool buddy Joel is an INTP personality type, same as me.  We talk a lot -- really a lot compared to "normal" people -- about various theoretical things that come into our heads either from external sources or just our own thoughts.

Joel read something recently about the class structure in the United States.  The theory is very controversial, but the gist of it is this:  Some people use any money they get right away for something they want now and similarly use the time they have available to do something that gives them pleasure right now; other people save their money for something they want later and spend their time doing things that will pay benefits later.  According to this article, these traits separate the classes.  The first group is lower class, and the second is the upper class.

Now I should point out that I'm not sure if all that is a very accurate portrayal of the article or even of what Joel told me, because I have not read the article myself but am rather going by my memory of a conversation about it.  But that doesn't matter.  What matters is that I think it's interesting.

And looking at myself, I would say that I belong half in the first category, and half in the second.  I am naturally inclined to save money, and I have set aside a fair amount for what I hope will be a slightly early retirement.  I always had enough money to live on when I was single, with some left over.  However, I tend to spend my time unwisely, doing fun or time-wasting things first and postponing less enjoyable activities as long as possible.

This approach leads to a host of problems:  bad grades in school, bills paid late, things around the house not done, inefficiency at work.  It is also directly related to why I have trouble losing weight and exercising.  Instant gratification is the key element; for example, exercise and dieting will lead to desired results down the road, but right now they are not much fun.  But I really think that I could do better in my life if I treated my time more like I treat my money.

Of course, the truth is that it's all about instant gratification.  I feel good about having money the moment it's in the bank; I don't have to wait until I spend it on a vacation.  So maybe the trick is to find a way to feel just as good right away about eating better, exercising, or doing things around the house.

To help me with this quest I have Jackie, whom I would judge to be my opposite both in terms of time and money.  She clearly doesn't get the pleasure that I do from saving money -- really doesn't even understand why I do -- but she likes to spend time productively up front so that she can relax later.  I have shared my thoughts about my own tendencies with her, and she tries to help.

So this weekend I made some small strides, mainly working on Boy Scout treasury stuff yesterday and this morning so that I don't have to do it all tonight.  This is a change from my usual ways.  Now, I think I will go use the treadmill.  Eating has not gone so well, but then I have never been one for dramatic changes.  Baby steps.

You Don't Want Leaders

"Most of the ladies and gentlemen who mourn the passing of the nation's leaders wouldn't know a leader if they saw one. If they had the bad luck to come across a leader, they would find out that he might demand something from them, and this impertinence would put an abrupt and indignant end to their wish for his return."  Lewis Lapham

Companies talk a lot about leadership and wanting leaders.  Managers need to be leaders, setting the example for others.  Leadership training, leadership skills, blah blah blah.

But so often what they really want from managers, what they need to keep the organization running, is for managers to support the latest initiative that comes from top management, and sell it to other employees, and carry it out as efficiently as possible.  That way everyone pulls in the same direction, pursuing the same goals.  That's the leadership they want.

follower -n:  an enthusiast or supporter, as of a sport or team

What top mangement wants isn't leadership; they want followers.  They need people who will enthusiastically support the latest initiative that comes from someone else and encourage others to support it too.  They need cheerleaders.  There are always people who are willing to jump in and organize something, anything, with irritating amounts of energy and an apparently earnest belief in whatever comes along.  They have always baffled me.  But big companies love those people.  The people at the top of the organization want to be the leaders, and leaders need followers.  They can't afford to have too many leaders in the organization.  Real leaders might question their projects, express doubts, try to go in another direction and take others with them.  Real leaders would create havoc.

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Just call me a manager.  A guy who accepts a set of tasks and initiatives and organizes people to accomplish them.  That's what you pay me to do.  You don't want me to lead.

Biggest Loser, Last Weigh-In

I will skip the biggest loser weigh-in today, as I have for the last few weeks, because I have gained about 7 pounds during the contest, and I can't drag my teammates down by including my weight in their totals.

I haven't exactly given up, but this is as close to complete failure as I can imagine.  I have a pretty good idea how to lose weight, and it's enormously (ha ha) important to me to do this, but I can't bring myself to do what is best for me.  It's a very helpless feeling, not being able to exercise control over what should be your own choices.  This must be something like what addiction feels like.

Today I ate protein for breakfast, brought fruit and veggies for lunch.  Every day is a chance to start over.

In case anyone wonders, that guy in the picture is not me.  I don't have a moustache.

Tahiti Update - Done!

• Took about 14 weeks.  I started April 3.
• 4,000 pieces exactly, 80 by 50.
• Final puzzle is 3 feet by 4.5 feet.
• Jackie and Jarrod might have put 20 pieces or less together.  I did the rest.
• When I started, I put the pieces all over the main table and six different sorting trays.
• I was missing one piece, in the leaves of the short tree to the left of the tallest tree.  After I assembled the other 3,999 pieces, I searched for that one and found it, so that was officially the last piece.
• This was a pretty fun project.  Jackie bought me the puzzle and two "puzzle caddies" many years ago.  The puzzle caddies were the source for the space I built the puzzle on and all the sorting trays.  Nice presents Sweetheart!
• Now I need another way to waste large amounts of time.

On Marriage

My friend John pointed me to the work of Erik Erikson, a psychologist who broke development into stages based on our experiences as we age.  My current stage is middle adulthood (rapidly approaching late adulthood), where my concerns would be centered on the value of my contributions.  This seems about right to me -- I think that's what I'm doing in my blog right now.

In my previous post I listed some of the things that make a difference in life.  So now, starting with this post, I will do what I can to evaluate my own efforts.  First item on my list was marriage.

Marriage is a complicated arrangement.  It usually starts with romantic attraction, but then it becomes so much more:  working out the finances, raising kids, running a household, deciding where to live, making it all work.  All the while you have to get along with someone who is part of your life every hour of every day, every year, forever.  Most days it's easy, or better than easy.  Most days it's great to have someone to talk to and share with.  But not every day, and not every part of every day.  Certainly it isn't automatic that any marriage will last, so it is a real accomplishment to stay together and make it work.

My family has been fortunate when it comes to marriages.  My parents were married 45 years.  Two of my siblings have been married more than 25 years each.  No divorces.  I come with an expectation that once you get married, you stay married.

Jackie and I will celebrate our 17th anniversary next month.  It's a lot of time together.  We have had two kids, three pets, and about 7 jobs; homeschooled the boys; lived in six different places in two states.  Through it all we have worked together, doing our own things, but moving forward with a common purpose.  We complement each other in many ways.  I make a good wage and make sure we put away some money for retirement.  Jackie takes care of pretty much everything else.  She is more organized and industrious.  She sets higher standards for all of us than I ever would.  She takes care of the boys, from appointments to activities to homeschooling.  She tries, with little success, to help me be more organized and industrious.

Going forward, Jackie and I have a plan.  The plan is this:  raise the kids, then retire and travel.  We plan to do this together.  I'm pretty pleased that we have stayed together so long and plan to stay together.  I don't think that having a long marriage is a great achievement because you should stick in a marriage no matter what; I think it's an achievement because it's a good sign you are doing something right.