Half-Empty Nest

Friday morning, I took Lucas to the University of Washington with some of his stuff, basically dropped him off, and he moved into a dorm.  For the first time since Jarrod came home more than 14 years ago, only three people live at our house.

Sure, Lucas will come back, and this is still his permanent residence, but this is a big step, more for him I think than for me and Jackie.  For us, the bigger step will be when Lucas gets a job and starts paying his own way.  Sure, he isn't physically here, but we're just renting an apartment for him really.  He's still under our care.

But for him, it's a big change.  Lucas has accomplished plenty for someone his age, but Jackie and I (especially Jackie) were always there to back him up, push him, help him succeed.  We are still here, of course, but now a lot of responsibility shifts to him.  We aren't going to know what assignments he has been given, where he might need a suggestion or some prodding.

I think he's ready.  I know we would have been happy to drop him off at the beginning of summer if we could have, as he seemed to get a bit tired of us months ago.  I think he has been looking forward to being on his own.  I have a few concerns, mainly that he is too much like me, and like I was at that age, and that is not necessarily good.  He's smart enough, but he doesn't relate to other people easily.  He doesn't like to ask for help, thinks he's smart enough to solve everything on his own.  He has an anger inside him that he keeps contained pretty well, but every once in a while it flashes.  All those things are like me -- a little different, but no so different.

Fortunately, Lucas has had more success than I ever had.  He is more responsible and much better at sticking with a goal and following through, and I think that will be enough difference that he will do well at UW.  I'll be surprised if he fails.

So I took him to the dorm, and I tried to give him some last words of advice on the way.  He listened politely enough.  Mostly, I tried to tell him not to waste his talent, that he was born with a good brain and has had good opportunities up to now and a great start, and now it falls on him to make the most of it all.  When we got there, he loaded all of his stuff on a single cart.  They asked me to stay with the car, but the car was empty by then, and I knew Lucas didn't need me to help him set up his room, so I took a couple of pictures, shook his hand, wished him luck, and left.

Don't waste it.  Don't do what I did.  You can do so much better.

Up and Running

I'm working again.  Got a call last Wednesday, interviewed Thursday, started Friday.  I have worked three days already, and all I have done is accounts payable filing.  I don't mind, but it's expensive filing, for them.  For me it's kind of free money, and I like free money.  Anyway, I am 90% complete with the two boxes of invoices they gave me to sort, so tomorrow maybe I will do some accounting.

Since May, I have worked with one recruiter, and she has kept me busy most of the time and has suggested several other possibilities.  She has found more work for me in five months than all other recruiters found for me in the previous 13 months.  It could be that she can keep me busy until one of these employers hires me.

During my brief period of unemployment between Alaska and last Friday, I gave some thought to what we can do to live more frugally.  I read a blog post recently that was written by a guy who says he spends about $10,000 per year.  He owns his home and his car outright.  He also grows some of his own food, says he hates monthly fees, never eats out, and would never buy shredded cheese.

I sort of want to be that guy.  Not quite so extreme, but I like the idea of living cheaply.  Living way below your means would give you the freedom to feel like your job was optional, instead of the constant stress of feeling that you have to make more, more, more, the stress I have lived with almost all the time for 20 years or so.

However, I don't think anyone else in my family likes that idea.  In any case, we are not capable of it, or even of moderating our spending a little.  If you can't lower your spending, the only alternative is to increase revenue, so working is good.