Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Game of Thrones: Memorable Scenes

The Worst

There are a few different categories here.

Worst storyline: Jaime and Bronn go to Dorne. Two guys, one with a golden hand and one of the most recognizable faces in Westeros, are going to sneak into the palace in Dorne, grab Myrcella. presumably while no one is watching, then sneak away, although Jaime admits they have no specific plan for getting out. It's dumb, it doesn't work, and the culmination of the plan is one of the dopiest scenes in the whole series.

Scenes that are bad because Euron or Ramsay are in them: Euron is so annoying that he brings down almost every scene he appears in. It doesn't help that he has superpowers that allow him to always be in the right place at the right time and then easily win his battles, until he doesn't. Even his death is unimpressive; at least Ramsay has a good death. Ramsay's scenes are some of the worst in the show, not because the portrayal is bad, but because of his actions. Ramsay tortures Theon. Ramsay feeds his stepmom and half-brother to the dogs. Ramsay hunts down a girl for fun and feeds her to the dogs. Ramsay forces Sansa to have sex while Theon watches. Ramsay flays an old woman who tries to help Sansa. Ramsay promises the Ironborn in Winterfell that they can leave if they just give him the castle, then kills them. He promises the Ironborn in Moat Cailin that they can go back to the Iron Islands if they surrender, then flays them all. He lets Rickon try to run back to Jon, then kills him. Ramsay is a bad guy. We get it.

Related to Ramsay, I count 8,002 castrated male characters in game of Thrones: Theon, Varys, and 8,000 Unsullied. The Unsullied don't even make any sense. If you're going to create an army, you don't start by castrating boys, because they won't have the testosterone they need to develop. The show even recognizes this issue with the way Varys is portrayed. It seems to me that somebody has an obsession.

Bad scenes that don't involve Jaime and Bronn in Dorne, or Euron or Ramsay. A surprising number of these happened in the last two seasons:

10. Bronn saves Jaime from Drogon. Get past the idea that Jaime would charge straight at a giant dragon to try to kill Daenerys. Also, let's accept that Bronn is in the right place to intercept Jaime and knock him out of the line of fire and into the river. When we see Jaime at the end of one episode, he is sinking deep into the water, with armor on. When he reappears in the next episode, he comes out of the river a good distance away, and no one even pursued him or Bronn. It feels like they were magically transported away to a safe spot.

9. Tyrion releases two dragons: The dragons are chained up because Drogon burned a child, but they aren't eating. Tyrion decides they need to be let loose, although they have to stay in the dungeon, so he walks up to them, convinces them he is a good guy, lets them loose, then somehow gets out alive. Just because it worked doesn't mean it wasn't stupid.

8. Cersei has Missandei beheaded: Why? What does this accomplish? This is just pointless cruelty, and it seems that we are meant to believe that this act pushes Daenerys and Greyworm into mass murder of civilians. It doesn't make sense.

7. Cersei leaves Ellaria and her daughter to die: Cersei's actions are understandable, but Ellaria and her daughters are supposed to be tough fighters. Why all the crying and wailing? You should have known you could end up here.

6. Jon goes to the Night's Watch at the end: They don't need a Night's Watch anymore. More than that, Jon is sent north to placate the Unsullied. Tell him to go north, then when the Unsullied leave, let him come back.

5. Theon gets kicked in the crotch, gets stronger: Theon challenges one of the other Ironborn, trying to get them all to go rescue Yara. The guy beats the crap out of Theon, knocking him down several times. Then the guy tries to finish him off by kneeing him in the crotch a few times, and when that doesn't work, because Theon has no balls, suddenly Theon is able to turn the tide and win the fight. The other guy is still bigger and stronger than him though. It's all very silly.

4. Drawings by the Children in the obsidian mine: Jon shows Daenerys some petroglyphs, in a cave on Dragonstone, that show plain as day and without any doubt that the Children encountered White Walkers, and that they fought the Walkers alongside men. The scene comes off as absurdly simplistic.

3. Bran's selection: Tyrion has been imprisoned and so had some time to think, and he decided that the answer is: stories. Stories are the important thing. And since Bran is a human encyclopedia now, he knows more stories than anyone, so he should be king. Everyone agrees that this makes good sense, even though - it doesn't. But Bran can't have any children, so no heirs. That's OK, Tyrion says that from now on, we will get together and choose our leaders. Everyone is curiously fine with that as well - no need for discussion even. Right.

2. The High Sparrow's "inquest": The High Sparrow takes a few minutes of testimony to lock up Loras Tyrell and Margery Tyrell, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. He asks Loras if he has ever had sex with men, then asks Margery if she knows. Then he has a surprise witness who has slept with Loras and knows about a birthmark, and has conveniently been there when Margery walked in. So Loras is caught, but for Margery's part, it's only her word against the male prostitute. Still, that's good enough for the High Sparrow to lock up both Loras and the queen for weeks before they even have a trial.

And why have Margery testify at all, when you already have a guy who slept with Loras, and you intend to take his word? The only plausible reason is to entrap her. The whole thing is idiotic.

1. Dany and Greyworm sack King's Landing: This scene isn't as dumb as some others, but it changes the whole story, and it doesn't seem right based on what we knew to this point. Daenerys and Greyworm have always fought people in power in order to help the downtrodden, but now Greyworm murders soldiers who have surrendered, and Daenerys destroys buildings and chases residents of the city through the streets, burning them with dragon fire, far away from Cersei and Qyburn in their castle. Not just a few buildings and a few people either, but lots and lots of them. It's way too much for us to be expected to believe that this behavior fits the characters we know.

The Best

I made a list like this way back in June of 2014, but there were only six seasons then, and my thinking may have changed, so it's time to do it again. I'm going to leave out the good deaths, because that will be a separate post.

10. Arya kills the Night King: At least one major storyline has a definitive ending and doesn't seem like it just drifted to a resolution. Yes, the Night King presumably waited 1,000 years at least for this, only to have himself and every single member of his army wiped out within the first few hours of the first significant battle, and yes, they used the trick where you take out the top guy, and everyone else goes too, sort of like Renly or Robb or the Sand Snakes, but hey, the living beat the dead guys, so that's good.

9. The Night King turns Rhaegal: The trick that had the entire Internet asking, "Where did they get those chains?" Still, it's an unexpected turn of events that changes the odds significantly.

8. Cersei is arrested by the High Sparrow: Wow, for once Cersei doesn't get her way, for a while. It's fun to see her realize she's trapped.

7. Jaime loses his hand: Game of Thrones shows us over and over that Westeros is a brutal place, but this time it doesn't involve anyone dying, and Jaime losing a hand is a shocking scene.

6. The Night King raises the dead at Winterfell: The immediate effects are to block Jon from getting to the Night King, as dead soldiers rise to get in his way, and to raise havoc as dead Starks rise in the crypts, which have been quiet until now. As nice music plays and we skip from one place to the next around Winterfell with new dead soldiers rising everywhere, we realize that there is no way the living can win this battle or this war if they don't kill the Night King.

5. Daenerys buys the Unsullied: Daenerys goes from no army to a big one in one stroke, as she buys all of the Unsullied for the price of a dragon, then has the Unsullied kill their former masters and has Drogon burn the guy holding him.

4. Drogon save Daenerys in the fighting pits. It looks bad for Daenerys, Missandei, Tyion, Dario, Greyworm, and Jorah as the Sons of the Harpy surround them, too many to fight off. Drogon has been gone for days, but he returns just at the right moment - we hear him first, then see a ball of fire, then he comes into the arena and starts setting people on fire. The Sons fight back, but it's enough for everyone to get away, including Daenerys, who rides Drogon for the first time as he flies away.

3. The Night King and Rhaegal burn down the wall: This one speaks for itself, but also we learn that re-animated dead dragons breathe a different kind of fire. It's an impressive scene, and once the wall goes down, we know the ultimate war is on.

2. Daenerys walks out of the fire with three dragons: Daenerys's story seems to be going nowhere, and although she has dragon's eggs, we have been told repeatedly that all of the dragons are long gone. When she walks into a huge fire with three eggs and walks out unscathed the next morning - despite her clothes being burnt off of her - with three live dragons, we know she is special.

1. Hardhome: Hardhome is perhaps more than just a scene; it takes up about half of an episode. It starts innocently enough, as wildlings are rowing out to ships that will take them south of the wall. Then the dead army shows up, and it's mayhem from there on. People get trapped outside the gates, the dead start to come through the gates and over the gates as wildling warriors and the Night's Watch try to hold the line. Jon finds out that Valerian steel can kill a white walker. In an amazing sequence, the dead hurl themselves over a cliff by the hundreds, then get up and attack. As the living fall back and grab the last boats to get away, the Night King walks to the shore and raises his arms, and the dead rise by the hundreds, as Jon and his companions look on stunned.

Quieter Good Scenes

10. The Hound comes back: The Hound is one of the most fun characters in the story, and in the books, he doesn't come back and seems to be truly dead. So it was a good decision for the show to bring him back from not quite dead.

9. Tywin and Arya banter: Two of the better minds in Westeros face off as Arya impresses Tywin, while he keeps probing, obviously curious about who she is, and she works to throw him off.

8. Brienne finishes Jaime's Kingsguard page. There are some moments where real affection between two characters shows through. After Jaime dies, Brienne fills out his page in the great book of the Kingsguard, writing a nice tribute to him.

7. Arya won't kill he Hound but robs him: After Brienne beats the Hound in a fight, he lays dying and wants Arya to kill him so he doesn't suffer. She refuses at first, but then walks over to him and - steals his money before she leaves him.

6. Brienne becomes a knight: Another nice Jaime-and-Brienne moment, as he knights her, and we see how much joy she gets from it.

5. Tyrion and Jorah see Drogon fly over: Tyrion and Jorah are travelling through Valeria when Drogon flies over, looking huge. Jorah has seen him before, but for Tyrion, it's an unbelievable sight that leaves him gaping.

4. Podrick sings: There is a reference to Jenny of Oldstones during season seven, by the Archmaester at the Citadel, and you have to wonder if that mention was in anticipation of this song. Podrick sings it as many of the principles are waiting for the war with the dead army to begin, knowing that this could be their last night alive. The camera takes us around to Sam and Gilly, Sansa and Theon, Arya and Gendry, Greyworm and Missandei. Very well done.

3. Arya and the Hound travel to King's Landing together. It took me several watchings to realize what  a close friendship these two have in the end. Although he was once on her list of enemies to be killed, and he once dragged her around hoping to ransom her, they eventually respect and appreciate each other. When they take off from Winterfell for King's Landing - he to kill his brother, she to kill Cersei - they choose to travel together, and the relationship carries them to a memorable last few moments together in the map room at the Red Keep. 

2. Jon's parentage revealed: One of the great things about Game of Thrones is the storylines that seem forgotten and then come back years later - Benjin disappears, then comes up five seasons later; Nymeria does the same; Hodor is Hodor from the beginning, but deep into the series, we find out why. In episode two of the series, Ned promises to tell Jon about his mother next time they talk, but it isn't until the end of season six that we find out that Jon Snow is actually Lyanna's and Rhaegar's son.

1. Jon and Ygritte find a cave: There is a lot of sex in Game of Thrones, but only a little romance - Sam and Gilly, Robb and Talisa, Missandei and Greyworm. But Jon and Ygritte are the most romantic couple, and the scene in the cave where they first have sex is the best romantic scene in the series.

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