Musings of An Old Man: On Death

Me, eventually

I am not dying, at least not any more than I ever was. Just a thing to think about.

I do not fear death, or what comes after. I feel confident enough that when the time comes, I will not know it happened, and whatever comes next, I will not care. "Afterlife" is an oxymoron; there is no life after life. From my point of view, when I die, the universe will wink out of existence, and time itself will stop. There is nothing to fear in that.

It will be quite the surprise if I am wrong.

It is natural, I think, to want to live forever, but in a very real sense we do live forever. From my perspective - the only perspective I have ever known - forever started on July 21 many years ago and will probably end within the next 25 years. Anything before I was born is just stories. 
Anything after is just guesses.

People say life is short, but it isn't. I remember living in Ohio until I was eight, though mostly just in snippets, and that was a long, long time ago. So was high school, which I remember much better. Our minds, I suppose, are made to perceive several decades as a good long run.

The actual process of dying, though, could be difficult. Both of my parents died relatively slowly, and it wasn't how you would want to go in either case. Unfortunately, most of us are probably destined for something similar, because human bodies do not usually give out all at once, but rather deteriorate slowly until we cannot keep going. Also, because medical science can sometimes keep us alive even when our bodies try to quit on us. I hope that, when the time comes, I either go relatively quickly or have the wits and the ability to call an end to it at some point.

If I can see the end coming, I am sure there will be some sadness. I have tried to think of a good metaphor. Life is like a roller coaster, and you don't want to get off. But life does not have as many ups and downs as a roller coaster - most of the time it just glides along. Life is like a day at Disneyland. Same problem. Life is like a long cruise. Not really. Cruises are a lot easier and more relaxing than real life.

I have settled on this one until I think of something better: life is like a long walk, one without an endpoint. You just keep walking until you can't walk anymore. Some days, the rain and wind are in your face, your feet hurt, and you have to walk up a big hill. Other days, the walking is easier, you get to see great sights, you meet people you enjoy, and some of them walk with you. And the good days make you want to keep going.

Maybe retirement is more like that long cruise though. It's a good way to end things.